To Give Without Receiving
- Hayley Tharpe
- Nov 17, 2023
- 3 min read
Updated: Dec 22, 2023
I. Introduction
To fully embody the spirit of Humility, we must first understand other concepts such as what it means to be “humble” and our sense of “pride.” That is because Humility is essentially this idea of coming beside yourself, asking what a situation or person needs, and how you can contribute to that need.
There must also exist this notion of “selflessness” which means that as you give, you do so knowing that you may not receive the same, or anything at all, in return. Acts of Humility are not self-serving, they are done purely for the benefit of another.
II. Priceless Giving
Nowadays, Humility is often associated with charity, giving monetary donations, and food drives. We perform these acts particularly around the holidays when we are encouraged to give to the less fortunate. However, there are so many other ways to give year-round which can leave a huge (and maybe even bigger) impact on someone’s life. Here are just a few:

a. Resources
One thing that I always try to encourage people to do, especially law students and young attorneys, is to use your resources! There are so many different forms of support available and there is no need to reinvent the wheel or to journey alone.
Contributing to someone else’s personal or professional development is both selfless and priceless! When on the receiving end, it is quite easy to see how important and necessary the resources are for us in that moment. However, true success is measured by our ability to pay it forward (hopefully after we find that those resources actually worked for us!).
Providing someone with books, outlines, network connections, etc., can take their confidence and understanding to the next level. Remember that one mentor who gave you those winning tips that you needed for a particular class or job? I can think of quite a few resources which helped me get to where I am today. Who are you able to help and inspire based on all that you have learned and acquired?
b. Words of Affirmation
Words of affirmation are so underrated. People truly need to be encouraged and told that they are appreciated and are doing a great job—especially in a world where we tend to emphasize criticism more than compliments. Pay attention to how big and bright someone’s eyes get when you compliment their work or character. Taking a few moments to recognize another individual can make them feel seen and valuable.
As easy as this sounds, there can be different reasons which get in the way of us freely expressing words of affirmation to others, such as our ego or a fear that these words won’t be reciprocated. But remember, Humility is not self-serving or meant to please your own pride. Offering words of affirmation is done purely for the person on the receiving end, and, as a result, can completely change the trajectory of their day, or even their life.
c. Forgiveness
Finally, another gift which resembles an act of Humility is to offer someone else your forgiveness. We often discuss the idea of forgiving others for our own peace of mind, but what about forgiving others for their peace too?
When you recognize that humans are not perfect, their shortcomings become a little less hurtful and disappointing to you. Realizing that you are also human, you know that one event could be attributed to a multitude of different or contributing factors. For example, if you are late to a meeting, your coworker may feel that you have disrespected their time. However, you may have been late because of traffic, a client call which ran late, spilled coffee on your outfit, something else, or all these things combined. There often is not just one reason to blame for any given situation.
When you humanize others and practice empathy, it is easier to offer forgiveness. And again, knowing how that could have been you, you recognize how you would appreciate forgiveness from another person in that moment too. Sometimes, people make mistakes but sometimes, they are also willing to make a change. Offering forgiveness may give someone the permission that they need to do better in the future.
III. Conclusion
Humility is essentially understanding that each of us are only one person in a big world and yet, we each are also living in our own world. The greater moral of the story is to give to others as if others have already given to you! Life is hard and we can all benefit from acts of kindness.
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