Escaping Back to the Present
- Hayley Tharpe
- Dec 22, 2023
- 4 min read
I. Introduction
There is an old saying that goes, “life is hard.” Work or school may be stressful, unplanned events occur, we have unmet expectations, and overall, things may not be going how we want them to go. When this happens, it can become quite challenging to want to face the Present moment each day.
In fact, sometimes, it may feel easier to either just live in our memories or in our hopes and dreams for the future. Doing this, however, may be considered an act of “escapism” which is defined by Dictionary.com as “the avoidance of reality by absorption of the mind in entertainment or in an imaginative situation, activity, etc.” In some situations, we may use vices such as watching movies, shopping, and going to the casino to escape from our physical present reality. However, we can also practice escapism by remaining in the exact physical location that we are trying to avoid, but rather, by distracting our mind with different thoughts a.k.a. daydreaming.
But don’t worry, I am very guilty of doing this myself and so are many others. Below I discuss some of the reasons why we may either intentionally or unintentionally try to escape our mind away from the Present moment.
II. What Was…
How often does something occur for five minutes or less and we end up spending hours, days, or even months thinking about it? We think about the things that were said and done, what could have been said and done, and how each of those scenarios could have played out. Sometimes our thoughts are positive and comforting, and other times our thoughts may be self-destructive and cyclical.
For each minute that you spend reminiscing about the past however, you miss a minute in the present moment where a new memory can be made. When you truly make the most of each day, you realize that a lot can occur in any given day and more importantly, things change! Yet, there are many times when I have continuously looked to the past in order to avoid accepting the changes that were right in front of me. Now, whether “good” or “bad,” I have learned to let my thoughts pass through my mind after a reasonable amount of time. It is okay to reminisce, so long as we always eventually move onto what is presently occurring!
III. What Could Be…
Now this is the category which personally hits closest to home. I am someone who is naturally very hopeful and aspirational, so I love to envision all of my dreams, down to the shoes that I plan on wearing. It was only recently that I realized however that I tend to have very exquisite visions about how certain things will go in life, only to then be later disappointed by how they actually went. Doing this, I have missed so many precious moments in the Present thinking about things that never ended up happening. I acknowledge that it is neither other people nor external factors which I can blame, but rather because I spent so much time in my mind instead of just living and patiently waiting for life to occur as it was already going to.
Unfortunately (and sometimes fortunately), a fantasy can only go on for so long. At some point, life will always bring you back to reality. It is okay to envision different dreams for our future, but after identifying them, the most productive thing that we can do is to actually take action in the present moment in order to make our dreams become our reality.
IV. What Is…
While the point of this Blog Post is to expound on the importance of living in the Present moment, it is important for me to note, especially as a Wellness Coach, that while we do want to occupy our mind and attention with the Present, we still must not become stuck in our current situation. Wallowing in the stressors of life, may imprison our Present with depression, anxiety, and stress.
Yet, viewing life in totality is what brings light out of this darkness. Establishing a daily gratitude practice was particularly so impactful for me because every single day, I intentionally tune into the many things in life that I am presently grateful for. Whenever I feel a “cloud of darkness” over me, I give myself half a day to reflect and feel my emotions, and then generally, it is time for me to move on because otherwise, a bad moment will turn into a bad day; and bad days add up!
V. Conclusion
Although challenging, the Present moment is nothing that we should ultimately be afraid of. Life was never promised to be easy or fair. Therefore, allowing your past to advise you and your future and dreams to guide you, can create a healthy balance so long as you remain primarily focused on your Present. Understanding the root of your own situation is a key step to giving yourself permission to escape back to your Present; and to live there positively!
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